Lord, help me through this day…my oldest son, Justin is moving to Idaho today to live with my brother and sister-in-law (and nieces) and while I believe this is the best and safest place for him (besides rehab, which he is refusing), I’m terrified to let him out of my sight. I trust my brother and sis more than anything and I know they will take care of him but I just can’t help feeling a mixture of all kinds of emotions right now.
I am not ready for him to leave home. I know he is 19 but I’m just not ready. Part of it is because I know he is not in a good place as far as his drug addiction and mindset and at the moment, he hates me. Another part is because he is my baby and I don’t want to let go. I also think that because of his drug addiction, I have to trust that God will take care of him and that I have to “let go and let God”…that is the hardest part of all.
If you pray, please remember my son in your prayers, if not, please send positive energy our way, this could be the start of a whole new sober life for him…but….I hesitate to get my hopes up too high again because I thought after rehab he would be “all better”. I’m now starting to realize that for an addict, there is no such thing as “all better”.
I have no idea how I’m going to get through this day…I know I won’t be sleeping tonight that’s for sure. I have to have faith…why is that so much harder in real life than it is in theory?
Thanks for listening and for your thoughts and prayers.
He doesn’t hate you at all, I had to learn they take their anger out the ones they know will love them no matter what. You are doing the right thing by removing him from his surroundings, I think he will do so much better away from the usual haunts. My son has said some awful things in the throes of addiction, but when the chips are down he will always call me first. I will continue to pray for you and Justin.
My heart goes out to you. Your Children can walk on your heart, depart from you values, they usually come back. We have a son who broke our hearts- he is doing very well and is such a blessing to us. We get the sweetest letters. Don’t give up God hears your prayers. I pray for other moms, the Lord cares about our heart aches. Hang in there. hugs