My Life Lately…

I didn’t realize how long I’ve been away from the computer until I looked at my last blog post!  This year has been just full of trials, not quite what I’d hoped for after last year and the one before that but what are ya gonna do, right?

I have been spending everyday, all day in bed for as long as I can remember.  So a few weeks ago I went to the doctor (just getting there was a miracle!) and he took me off of the Cymbalta that I was taking for the fibromyalgia.  It was causing my panic attacks to happen more often and last longer.  He switched a few other meds and added Lithium!  I was freaking out because I always thought lithium was for “crazy people”, not me lol.  He said that for people who have major depression and have not received any relief from other types of meds, sometimes lithium can help.  I waited about a week before I took it but then I finally realized that I’ve taken every medication known to man over the last 24 years and nothing else has helped long term so why not?  I was worried about gaining weight but then I realized, I’ve gained so much from all the other meds over the last ten years WHAT DOES IT MATTER ANYMORE?

Three weeks one dosage increase later and I’ve gained ten pounds (he says it’s probably water but my jeans don’t agree), and I’m having less panic attacks.  I’m still in bed everyday, all day but I’m not “quite” as depressed.  It’s hard to be happy when you live your life in constant pain and fatigue.  My doctor asked me to describe what it felt like to be me and the best I could do was to tell him that for me, moving anything (my arm, leg, even walking), it feels as if I’m doing it underwater on a good day and in quicksand on a bad day.  And that’s JUST the fatigue.  We hadn’t even discussed the pain of fibromyalgia yet.

So he gave me Vyvanse which is an ADD pill (in reality it’s an upper), and I took the first one today.  I took this medication in the past for ADD but had to stop because I was having panic attacks).  I think my doctor is hoping that combined with all of the other meds I take it will help me have more energy without the panic.  So far so good because today I was actually able to get up, shower and start working on organizing my coupons again and WRITE THIS BLOG POST! Yeah!

My goal for tomorrow is to actually go shopping.  We are out of everything and since I’ve not been collecting my coupons for almost a month now, it’s not gonna be fun!  I think I’ll hit up Costco.

So now I’m taking the following meds:  (If you’d like to compare what you are taking, email me or leave me a comment, I’d love to know what others take for fibro and cfs, etc.).

AM:

• Savella – (fibro/cfs)
• Armour – (hypothyroidism)
• Zoloft – (panic disorder/depression)
• Vyvanse – (cfs)

PM

• Savella (again)
• Lithium (depression)
• Propanolol – (tremors – side effect of other meds)
• Clonazepam – (panic disorder and sleep)
• Aciphex – (reflux)

AS NEEDED

• Xanax – (for panic attacks)
• Dicyclomine – (for IBS)
• Promethazine – (for nausea)

He also has me take Vitamin D 10,000 2x day, Vit. B and a pre-natal Vitamin daily.
If anyone out there has fibromyalgia and/or chronic fatigue and you feel depressed, how do you know what is causing what?  I have a long history of panic attacks and depression so it’s harder for me to tell but like I told my doctor, I could be the happiest person on earth and I’d still get depressed living with fibro and cfs ya know?  It’s a vicious circle that never seems to stop.  Oh and did I mention the ten pounds I’ve gained with the lithium?  Yeah, I know, what is ten pounds?  Well, when you add it to 100 other pounds that you’ve gained with each different medication, it’s a big deal.   But I guess I have to prioritize things at this point in my life.  Is it more important to be/feel pretty or is it more important to be alive and out of bed?  The answer changes from day to day for me, I’m not used to feeling so unattractive and even though I’ve been gaining/losing/gaining this weight with every new medication over the last 10 years or so, I’m still not used to being this fat!  It really sucks!

If I keep feeling this well I’m going to start working on my coupon site again.  I really do need help though so if anyone out there wants to help, you don’t have to have any experience, just time to search the web and add/share info.  We also need bloggers and writers!  Contact me for more info!

I hope you are all healthy and happy!

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